Broken Hearts Can Be Mended
by HannahWilliam33
Summary: AU: Quinn is depressed. Who will be there for her through it all? I suck at summaries by the way. Angst. Trigger Warning: self-harm, dealing with past abuse, death, M for smut Faberry with some Brittana Marley/Quinn/Rachel Friendship Faberrittana friendship I DO NOT OWN GLEE
1. No hope

Sitting in the fetal position in her girlfriend, Rachel's bathroom, Quinn was hyperventilating. She couldn't stop panicking. All she could think about was that one night so many years ago. She felt it happen over and over again. Her uncle was in the bed with her. She wasn't there. She was a kid again. She could barely breathe. The only release she found was in the knife in her hand.

She sliced her wrist because she just didn't think she could do this anymore. The voices were always there.

_My fault, _she thought, _all my fault. I'm so Fat. Ugly. Stupid. Worthless._

The day she gave up her baby up for adoption was the day she first cut herself.

All of a sudden, she heard a knock on the door. She didn't know what to do. Before she knew it, Rachel was coming in the room.

"Quinn...are you okay?"

Upon hearing no response, Rachel walked in, "Oh my god…Quinn? WHAT'S GOING ON?" Rachel screamed as she walked in her bathroom and saw Quinn and her bloody wrist. Rachel patted Quinn's cheek. "Wake up, you're here with me, you're safe. You're okay."

"Make him stop. Please make him stop. He won't stop. Make him stop. Please. Make him leave…I hate him."

"Quinn…it's just a flashback. It's okay. I'm here with you. You're okay."

"Huh?" Quinn was drowsy all of a sudden and had no idea what was going on.

"Are you okay? What happened to your wrist?" she asked, staring at her bloody wrist.

"Nothing…yea, I'm fine. I just…it was an accident. Please don't tell anyone. Please."

"Quinn…you could die if you don't stop. You need to talk to someone. We're going to talk to Mrs. Pillsbury Monday."

"Please…Rachel…don't make me."

"I just want you to be okay. Just come Monday with me please?"

_Lies. She doesn't care. No one cares. You're too ugly for them to care. It's your fault, Quinn. It's your fault._

"Okay," Quinn sighed. She knew once Rachel Berry was determined to do something she was going to do it.

"Okay. Just let me know if you want to do it again. I love you."

"I love you too,"

Quinn refused to believe anyone cared about her.

_After all who would? Rachel doesn't love me. No one loves me. I'm dirty. I'm a whore. I got pregnant at sixteen. I lost my innocence when I was eight. Who would ever really love me? _

"I'll come Monday."

" Alright, well come back to bed with me."

It was nice to know someone was there. Even I they didn't really love her. Because as the voices always told her, no one really did.

Quinn quickly got into the bed with Rachel. As she lay down with Rachel, Rachel whispered into Quinn's ear, "I love you Quinnypoo, don't you dare forget that."

Quinn half-smiled. Rachel was the only one in the whole world allowed to call her Quinnypoo. "I love you too, Rachel."

Rachel wrapped her arms around Quinn. She wanted nothing more than for Quinn to be happy. That's all that mattered to her.

Quinn sighed. She loved Rachel with all of her heart, but she had no idea how she was going to explain everything to Mrs. Pillsbury on Monday. But she knew with Rachel, there was no hope in getting out of it. She wanted everyone to know how much pain she was in, but she didn't at the same time. No one would ever understand why someone as pretty and popular as her would ever cut her wrist or her thighs or her stomach or any crevice of her so called "beautiful skin."

Another thing: no one understood how much of an effect it had on her when her dad cheated on her mom and left. No one knew what her uncle did to her when she was eight years old. It didn't make any sense. Why did it anything bad happened to her? Why she was in so much pain and no one, other than Rachel, seemed to notice or care?

_Christian. Ha. Dad left because I got pregnant. I'm a whore. I'm a stupid, fat ugly bitch and I deserve to die._

She was so glad she had Rachel here with her, but she had no desire to go talk to Mrs. Pillsbury on Monday.

Monday morning came too quick, and Quinn was seriously dreading what was about to happen. Her heart was practically beating in her lungs. She got into her car and drove to school. She did not want to. However, she hoped it would be what was best for her.

She'd been cutting herself for years, and she wanted nothing more than to stop. But no one understood that. No one understood how hard it was to stop. How the blade dragging across your skin leaving crimson red pouring out was a _release. _No one knew what it was like to hate yourself so much you couldn't stop even though you wanted to. You wanted to so desperately you'd do anything to not feel that way.

When she got to school Monday morning, she saw Rachel standing right in front of the school. Quinn walked slowly up to Rachel. When she finally reached her gorgeous girlfriend, Rachel put her arms around her. "I hope you know I'm only trying to do what's best for you."

"I know, But it's still hard." Quinn practically sobbed. She was trying not to cry, but she couldn't help it.

"Here," Rachel said, giving Quinn a tissue.

"I don't know if I can do this."

"Quinn Fabray, I've known you for three years. You can do this. I know you can."

"Thanks," Quinn sniffled.

They walked into the school and went straight to Mrs. Pillsbury's office.

"Yes," Mrs. Pillsbury said, "Can I help you ladies?"

"Quinn needs to talk to you about some stuff. Do you want me to stay baby?"

"Please stay," Quinn said, grasping Rachel's hand tightly. Then, she started sobbing.

"I'm here for you, Quinnypoo" Rachel replied.

"I know," Quinn sniffled.

"Quinn, what's going on? I've known you for a long time and you always seem so happy. What's going on?"

Quinn slowly pulled up her sleeve and showed Mrs. Pillsbury all of her scars and cuts. "Most of the recent ones are on my thighs. I just can't do this anymore. Nothing makes sense. I can't stop. I want to so bad. But I can't." She was practically in tears.

"Here, have a tissue," Mrs. Pillsbury replied. "What makes you want to do this?"

Quinn squeezed Rachel's hand as hard as she could. "I…I think my dad hates me. I mean, I did get pregnant at 16 and gave my baby up for adoption. My dad left us. And I've had so much bad crap happen in my life and no one seems to notice me. Everything's my fault. It's all my fault. I just don't think I can stop anymore."

"Quinn, I think you need some help. A psychiatrist maybe? I'm not cut out to help you professionally."

"Please. I can't go to a psychiatrist. It'll cost my mom too much money."

"Quinn, your mom makes plenty of money and you need the help. Please just listen to Mrs. Pillsbury. At least, hear her out."

"Okay, but I'm not promising anything."

"Quinn, if you do this again, I have no choice but to force you into getting help. I can't force you to get help right now, even though I wish I could."

"Thanks Mrs. Pillsbury but I don't need any help."

"Promise you'll at least consider it,"

"Fine, I'll consider it, but no promises."

"That's all I ask."

Quinn and Rachel had all of their classes together so they were together all day. Even if they didn't, Rachel knew she couldn't leave Quinn. She hated seeing the love of her life like this. Nothing hurt her more.

That afternoon, they had Glee practice as usual. Quinn was unusually quiet, so Rachel got up and told Mr. Schue she was going to sing a song for Quinn. Butterflies hit Quinn's stomach as soon as she heard the words to "Skyscraper" coming out of Rachel's mouth. Rachel had a beautiful voice. Quinn had always been jealous of that. However, now that Rachel was singing to her, she never wanted to hurt herself again. Rachel had that kind of effect on people. It was almost like magic.

"Wow that was amazing, Rachel," said Mr. Schuster. "Let's give her a round of applause."

They all applauded Rachel.

"Thank you guys, and I love you all."

"Let's get back to practice, Quinn, come up and sing the song you picked for this week's assignment."

This week's assignment had been difficult, especially for Quinn, with everything that was going on in her life. She hated herself so much. Most of the time, she was so depressed it was hard for her to function.

_Loser. No good. Stupid. Bitch. Ugly. Fat. Whore._

Quinn walked to the front of the classroom and started singing the song Time After Time originally by Cydni Lauper. This song, in Quinn's mind was dedicated to Rachel to let her know she was there or her no matter what and was going to try and stop cutting herself and would try to get help as soon as possible. That's the point she was trying to make to Rachel. She hoped Rachel understood that. It didn't matter that the rest of the Glee club was applauding her. Rachel's opinion was the only one that mattered to her.

"Guys, I know I seem like I'm not all the way here, but I am. And I really do appreciate and love all of you so much."

"We love you too Quinn," said Mercedes.

Mr. Schu then dismissed the Glee club for the day.

Quinn and Rachel walked outside of the room hand in hand. Quinn was looking more depressed than usual, she'd added more cuts to her arms last night, and was extremely depressed that day.

Rachel sighed because she knew something was up. "What's wrong Quinn? I know you and you're not okay. Do we need to go talk to Mrs. Pillsbury again?"

"No, no I'm fine. It's just…a year from now we won't be here. And I spent half of my high school career gossiping and bullying other kids when really I'm the one that deserved the bullying the most."

"Quinn, that is not true! You mean the world to me, okay? Can we at least make a weekly appointment with Mrs. Pillsbury and see what she thinks about what's going on in both of our lives?"

"Okay, sure."

_Fat. Ugly. Worthless. Stupid. Whore. Unlovable. You're not worth anything and no one will ever love you._

The next day, they both arrived at school at the exact. However, Rachel had to quickly get to class because she had a lot to prepare for the week, with so many projects due.

Quinn told Rachel she was going to the bathroom because she just needed to be alone for a minute. Quinn walked to the bathroom, quietly went into a stall, sat on the toilet, closed the door, grabbed one of her razor blades out of her bag, and started crying. Then she started to cut until she felt satisfied. However, Quinn was crying and shaking and she couldn't stop. She was flashbacking to that one night with her uncle. It happened in her room. It was her fault…her fault…Maybe if she wasn't such a dirty girl, it wouldn't have happened. None of it would have.

_That's right, you stupid bitch. It's all your fault. You're so disgusting. Who's ever going to want you after they find out what you let him do to you?_

Why had her uncle been at their house anyway? Why? She couldn't remember. Maybe that was just because she was so damn stupid. She hated him for what he did. But she hated herself even more. Why had he done it? Better yet, why did she let him? It was her fault…it was all her fault.

"It's just a game," her uncle had told her "But you can't tell anyone."

She never told her parents what happened with her uncle. She never wanted them to know. They would just blame her. Because as her parents had made extremely clear, you don't talk about your feelings or problems around them…especially around her dad.

She took five of her mom's Xanax that she stole, and it didn't seem to be enough to make the bad memories go away. So she cut her leg some more….the blood helped a little, but again not enough…so she drank some water, and took all of the Ibuprofen she had left. She didn't know what to do anymore. She wanted to die. She had no clue what to do about anything. She just couldn't stop crying.

_Fat. Ugly. Stupid. Worthless. Hate. Hate! HATE! FUCKING BITCH! WHY ARE YOU SO DIRTY? WHY? YOU WANTED IT TO HAPPEN. YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A STUPID ATTENTION WHORE. NO ONE LOVES YOU._

All of a sudden, she heard Brittany and Santana enter the bathroom. Quinn tried to be as quiet as possible, but she kept sniffling.

"So you're sure that there's no sharks in the pool at my house?" Brittany asked Santana

"Of course, I'm sure. Why would I lie to you?" Santana replied, giving Brittany a hug.

Right then and there, Santana heard someone crying in the stall. She knew who it was instantaneously.

To be sure, she asked, "Quinn…is that you?" Santana asked.

She repeated the question several times. When Santana heard no response she opened the stall door and gasped, not believing what she saw.

"Quinn…oh my god. What are you doing? Why? Brittany, quick…grab some paper towels, and soak them and bring them here." Brittany did as Santana instructed.

"Make him stop. Make him stop. Please make him stop."

_Attention whore. You shouldn't have let her walk in on you like this. No one likes you, they just pretend to. They don't care. They're lying to you. No one really cares about you. _

Quinn was practically sobbing. Santana wrapped her in a hug and quickly checked Quinn's pulse and it was much too slow. Santana had no idea why she knew what to do, but she knew they had to get help as soon as possible.

"Brittany, go get Mrs. Pillsbury. Hurry. I'm worried about you, Quinn. You barely eat, you're always cold. You're so sad all the time…I'm really worried."

"I'm... so…so..rry.. I'm…such…a screw…up," Quinn sobbed.

Santana replied, in a tone Quinn had never heard her use before, "Shhhh. it's okay. I'm here. Brittany is getting Mrs. Pillsbury. You're okay. You're going to be okay. I promise. "

Quinn couldn't stop sobbing. "I…my fault…it's my fault…make him stop…dad…he left…I can't do this…make him stop…uncle…dad…abandoned…ugly fat hate."

The poor girl was so distraught she couldn't even finish a sentence.

"Over here, Mrs. Pillsbury…she's over here…"

"Hey Quinn, I just called 911…what's going on?"

The nurse and Mrs. Pillsbury were there, but Quinn was in and out of consciousness, floating between her past and the present…she had no clue where she was…nothing mattered…it was her fault…it was all her fault…

The nurse was checking her vitals and seeing if there was anything she could do before the ambulance got to the school.

_Stupid. My fault. Ugly. Hate myself. Not worth anything. _

"Quinn…I called your mother and an ambulance on the way. It's going to be okay…Quinn…talk to me. I need you to stay conscious. What's going on?"

For a split second, Quinn was snapped back to reality, realizing Rachel wasn't there. Mrs. Pillsbury could barely hear her as she whispered, "Rachel, Rachel…I want Rachel…she makes me feel better…please…"

Back to her room as a child, she was screaming, "Stop. Stop. Make him stop. Why? Why did he do it? Unlovable…I'm scared…make him stop. Make. Him. Stop."

"Quinn…Quinn…what's going on? Where are you? What's going on?"

"My room. I'm eight. He won't stop. Make him stop. Please…"

"Who won't stop, Quinn? Quinn…talk to me…"

Right at that moment, Quinn lost consciousness.

Bright red light. He won't stop…Make him stop…Car ride…Doctors…Nurses. Pretending…Bleeding…Want more blood. Deserve it.

Darkness. A black oblivion. Not dead. Not alive.

After twelve strenuous hours, Quinn finally woke up. She squinted at all of the bright lights…

"Where am I?" she asked.

"You're in the hospital," her mom softly replied, "I'm glad you woke up. You had me worried sick."

"Yea…you worried us all," Rachel said.

_No you didn't. They wish you were dead. Then they wouldn't have to put up with you and your stupid self you stupid bitch._

Quinn looked around and saw Santana, Brittany, and Mrs. Pillsbury.

"I'm so sorry guys," Quinn practically sobbed, "I'm so sorry."

"Shhh," Rachel told her, softly stroking Quinn's hair, "it's okay….it's alright."

"Alright, everyone but Mrs. Fabray need to leave. You guys can come back later. A psychiatrist is coming to evaluate Quinn." Mrs. Pillsbury said.

"I love you, Rachel," Quinn said.

"I love you too, Quinn." Rachel replied.

The three Glee girls left the room.

"Okay, Quinn, a psychiatrist will be here soon. And I would just like to know your opinion on something. Do you think it would be beneficial for you to go to a psychiatric hospital for a little while? You'd be able to make up all of your school work and it won't affect any of your grades," Mrs. Pillsbury asked Quinn, knowing how much Quinn hated falling behind in school.

A single tear fell down Quinn's cheek.

"I honestly…I don't know. Mom, what do you think?"

"I really think you should go, honey. I love you baby girl and I couldn't stand the thought of losing you." Mrs. Fabray told her daughter, with her voice shaking.

Quinn squeezed her mom's hand rather tightly.

_Bang. Bang. Bang. _There was a knock on the door.

"Come in," Quinn said.

"Hello, Quinn. I'm Doctor Wiser. What brought you to the hospital?"

"I…um…I was at school…and I…I uh cut myself really bad and overdose on a bunch of pills."

"Why did you do that?"

"Because I want to die."

The psychiatrist asked several more questions and finally said, "Quinn, I really do believe it would be beneficial for you to go to a psychiatric hospital. What do you think about that?"

"Okay," she replied.

_Whatever, _she thought, _it's not going to help me anyway. I'm too fucked up._

A few hours later Quinn was discharged from the hospital and rode with her mom to the psychiatric hospital that was in Columbus, Ohio the psychiatrist referred Quinn to.

"Mom?"

"Yes baby girl?"

"Where is Rachel? I want Rachel…"

"She said she would come to visit you as much as possible. Okay?"

"Okay," Quinn sighed and fell asleep. It took a little while to get to Columbus so she had some time to nap.

_Rachel only pretends to love me. No one really does. They all hate me. It's my fault…my fault. _

Approximately an hour later, Quinn felt the vehicle come to a halt. She opened her eyes and saw the words, Columbus Psychiatric Hospital For The Mentally Ill. Quinn was scared. She'd never been to a hospital like this before. She was scared.

Mrs. Fabray noticed that her daughter was on the verge of tears. "It's going to be okay, Quinn. I love you and I believe this is what's best for you."

Quinn could barely speak, so she just nodded at her mother and gave her a hug.

They entered the hospital and signed in. Quinn was told to fill out some paper work. All of these question were triggering her…she wanted to cut. However, she knew she couldn't. She had to focus on filling all of the information out. After she finished filling the information packet out, and waited. They had been there around and both were becoming impatient until finally they heard someone say the words, "Quinn Fabray."

"Alright ladies, just sit down. The doctor will be with you shortly."

All of the walls were ruby red like the ruby red that was dripping from her wrist. There were several books all over on so many bookshelves. Quinn and her mom sat back there for a while until the doctor came in.

The doctor was old, with gray hair, and he was kind of skinny.

"Quinn Fabray?"

"Yes?"

"My name's Doctor Flamenhower. What brings you here today?"

"Well, apparently, I'm suicidal and depressed; I guess that puts you in these places."

"Mhm. I see here you overdosed. Why did you do that?"

"To get away from everything and to make everyone feel better and it would all be better if I wasn't here."

Quinn barely finished her sentence before breaking down and crying.

_Quit crying. I can't. Yes you can you weak, pathetic monster. _

"Do you think being here will be beneficial to you?"

"I guess it couldn't hurt to try it out."

"Alright, you'll be in the adolescent ward."

Quinn sighed. She wasn't supposed to be here. There was a time when she had everything together.

_When I was perfect, _she thought.

_Don't lie to yourself, you never were. You did this to yourself. You deserve it._

Her mother and the doctor walked with her to the adolescent ward where her mother was told to leave.

"Mom?" she said, nearing tears.

"Yea sweetie?"

"Tell Rachel to visit as soon as possible. I miss her."

"Okay honey. I love you baby."

"I love you too mom."

She was put in a room with white walls. All of her razor blades had been taken from her. They had even taken the string out of her pajama pants so she didn't try to strangle herself.

_Ha. Like these idiots could stop me if I really wanted to try killing myself._

Her roommate was a stranger, around fifteen, who she'd never even met before. Her roommate had dark hair and blue eyes and or some reason reminded her of Rachel, who she missed dearly.

"Hi," the girl said.

"Hey," Quinn responded shyly.

"My name is Marley."

"I'm Quinn."

There was an awkward silence after that. Quinn didn't know what to say to the girl, who was severely underweight.

_She's so pretty. Why can't I look like her? Why can't I be pretty? Why can't I matter? Why am I so ugly?_

After a while a nurse came in and said, "Time to check vitals."

Quinn followed the nurse and Marley to the common area where they had a lot of kids waiting in line to get their vitals checked. When it was finally her turn, her vitals were normal.

_I don't belong here. This is stupid. _

"Group time next," one of the nurses said.

"Oh this is always fun," Marley laughed and told Quinn sarcastically.

Quinn laughed a little shyly. She had no idea what was about to happen. They went into the next room and all sat down in a circle.

A tall, black guy wearing scrubs sat down in front of the whole group and said, "Since we have new people here today, we are going to go around and say our names." Everyone said their names. After that, the guy babbled, but Quinn wasn't really paying much attention. She was too busy trying to think of ways to get out of there. After group time was over, they went to go eat lunch.

"No, I don't want a roll or mashed potatoes. That's too many calories!" Marley said.

"You're going to eat it," the lunch person replied.

After Quinn got her food, she went and sat down with Marley. She noticed Marley was picking at her food. Marley look famished though.

"So, why are you here?" Marley asked Quinn.

"Oh…um…I…um …I overdosed and cut myself. Why are you here?"

"Oh…well…my mom made me come here because she told me I was getting too skinny. Anorexia is what they say I have. I just don't want to be fat. And I think they're jealous."

"But…you're so skinny."

"Dude…you must be blind…I'm like the fattest person in the world. They say the mirror's lying to me…but I say that they are."

"Oh…okay."

They sat there quietly or the rest of lunch. Quinn wasn't very hungry and didn't want to eat. She hated eating in front of people. It made her think that everyone was judging her when she ate.

When they got back to their room, Marley decided to ask Quinn, "Why do you cut yourself?"

"Well…that's hard to explain. I got pregnant when I was 16 and had to give my baby up for adoption. My dad kicked me out of the house, and then left us. And I've had a lot of shit go down in my life. Why don't you eat?"

"Well...it all started when I was around eight years old. My mom's severely overweight, so everybody told me I had to watch what I eat or I'd end up really big. So I just stopped eating."

"Oh…well I hate to change the subject but when are visiting hours?"

"At 6 o'clock right after supper," Marley replied.

"Okay, thank you."

"Waiting for a visit from someone?" Marley asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Yea, my girlfriend, who I miss so much…"

6 o'clock couldn't come quick enough. She was only allowed to have 2 visitors at a time. Quinn waited and smiled so big when she saw Rachel come in with her mother. Rachel then ran up to Quinn and asked, "How is it going here?"

"Horrible, I miss you guys so much."

"We miss you too, sweetie," Rachel replied.

Then, Quinn gave Rachel a hug and a quick kiss on the lips, so none of the staff would notice.

"Here, come sit down with me." Quinn said.

"Okay."

"Quinn…everyone at school is wondering where you are at. Of course, Mrs. Pillsbury knows. But I wanted to know if it's okay if Glee club at least knows you're safe in a hospital."

"That's fine. Brittany and Santana can know where I am, seeing as they are the ones that found me. They must really care about me…"

"Yea, they do and I do too. I'm so glad you're okay."

"I don't see why," Quinn mumbled.

"Oh silly Quinnypoo, you mean the world to us okay?"

"Okay…I just….I hate myself so much and don't know why I'm worth existence."

"Well…I can't tell you what your purpose is…all I can tell you is you've saved me in more ways than I could ever have imagined. I mean, think about it, we both went out with Finn." Rachel said.

"Yea, I'm glad neither one of us are still with him," Quinn laughed.

"Listen…I was wondering if it was okay if I sang to you."

Quinn blushed, "Of course you can sing to me baby…"

"This song is dedicated to you because I love you SO MUCH."

Rachel then started singing "Keep Holding On" to Quinn.

When Rachel had finished singing, she noticed Quinn had been crying.

"What's wrong?" Rachel asked.

"Nothing's wrong, I just realized I love you so much. And that's why I tormented you so much two years ago. And you were still there for me. And you sang me that song…I remember. I love you so much baby."

"I love you too, Quinnypoo!" Rachel responded.

"Alright, everyone. Visiting hours are over."

At this, Quinn started crying even harder and grabbed Rachel and hugged her.

"Shhh, it'll be okay Quinn," her mom said.

"Yea, I promise I'm going to visit you as much as possible," Rachel told her.

"Okay," Quinn responded, still crying.

As soon as they left, Quinn went back to her room and cried. Marley followed her.

"Hey, Quinn?" Marley asked

"Yea Marley?" she responded.

"It's going to be okay. I know you're upset because you're here. But you're going to get better."

"Promise?" Quinn asked, still sniffling.

"I PINKY promise," Marley told her, holding out her pinky.

Quinn was quick to grab her new friend's pinky and said, "You have to promise me you'll get better too."

"Okay."

They were quiet for the rest of the night and Quinn ended up falling asleep rather quickly. However, she woke up to hear a nurse shouting, "VITALS!"

The rest of the day went on the same as the day before. She just hoped she could get through it without having any major breakdowns. And she did. Until they started talking in group and one girl was talking about how some guy molested her as a kid. The girl had horrible flashbacks just like Quinn did.

Quinn's uncle had told her that if she ever told anyone what happened what he did to her he'd kill her. That was why she never told anyone. She was terrified. The whole room noticed that Quinn had closed her eyes and was shaking.

"Make him stop…Make him stop…my fault my fault."

_Ugly. Stupid. Dirty. Worthless._

"Earth to Quinn?" Marley whispered.

"Oh…I'm still here…sorry."

"Do you need to talk about something?" the psychiatrist asked Quinn.

"No…I'm fine," Quinn lied.

When they went back to their room, Marley asked "What was that all about?"

"Oh…nothing…."

"Yea right. Look, I get flashbacks too. It's okay, you can tell me."

"But he told me…he told me he'd kill me if I ever told anyone."

"Well I won't let that happen and I guarantee you your girlfriend won't either."

"I don't know…"

"Look, I was raped three years ago by my sister's boyfriend. He told me he would kill me too. But I got the bastard put in jail."

"It's too late for that for me…"

"Maybe, but by telling at least the police can make sure he doesn't do it again."

"Okay…when I was eight years old, my uncle used to crawl into bed with me. I don't know why. At first, I thought he was just mistaking when he came in there and would leave. So I tried to say something. But he just covered my mouth. He told me it was just a game and I could never tell anyone or else he would kill me. That wasn't the first time. He did it every day of every summer for three years. Because for some reason, my parents thought it was cool to have him and my aunt over every summer. But after that, he stopped coming into my room. I guess he only likes little girls and I'm scared it's going to happen again. And I feel it happen almost every day."

"You have to tell someone…at least your mom or your girlfriend…"

"What if they don't believe me? Or what if Rachel doesn't want me anymore cause I'm dirty?"

"Honey, that's not going to happen, I promise. I saw the way she looks at you. She loves you. Now, come here and give me a hug."

Quinn thanked Marley and gave her a hug.

"You are a beautiful girl, Marley."

"And so are you, Quinn."

The day went on the same as the day before. Except for Rachel didn't come to visit her, so when the telephones were put out that night, Quinn called Rachel's number (which she had had memorized since their sophomore year).

"Why didn't you come and see me?" Quinn quickly asked Rachel.

"I'm so sorry honey. We had an awful busy day at school today and I had loads of homework, so my dads wouldn't let me come and visit you."

"Oh…"

"I'm so sorry," Rachel said, nearly in tears.

"It's okay," Quinn responded.

"I love you Quinnypoo."

"I love you too, Rachel."

"You mean a lot to a lot of people, and I want you to know that I'm always here for you." All of a sudden, Quinn heard screaming in the background.

"Is everything alright?" Quinn asked.

"Yea…just my dads are fighting again…"

"Why?"

"Well one of them lost their job and…they don't know if I'll be able to go to NYADA next year or not," Rachel nearly sobbed.

NYADA had always been Rachel's dream. Quinn knew that. So, when she got out of this hellhole they called a hospital she was going to help Rachel in whatever way she could.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Rachel, I love you okay?''

"I love you too, more than life itself."

"We're going to get through this. Okay?"

"Okay," Rachel sniffled, "I just feel bad because you already have a lot of problems…I hate being the cause of more."

"You could NEVER be the cause of any of my problems."

"So…I have a question. I know all of your secrets right?" Rachel asked Quinn.

"Um, actually…there's something I need to tell you."

"What is it?"

"I…my uncle molested me when I was eight. I hate him so much. And I feel like I'm dirty and I deserved it," Quinn told Rachel.

"Oh, Quinnypoo, no one could ever deserve anything like that and I hope your uncle rots in hell."

Quinn then told Rachel about her new friend/roommate, Marley. Rachel told Quinn about all the latest drama at McKinley. For a few minutes, it was like none of this horrible stuff had ever happened. However, after a while, Quinn had to go.

"Hey, I'm sorry Rach, but I got to go. They're about to unplug the phones."

"It's okay, Quinnypoo. I love you."

"I love you too."

_God, I miss her. So much. _

"Hey, is everything okay?" Marley asked Quinn, seeing her distraught roommate.

"No," Quinn replied.

"Okay, do you want to talk about it?"

"My girlfriend…Rachel…one of her dads lost their job and she doesn't know if she'll be able to get into NYADA. I have to help her, but I don't know how."

"Well, first you need to finish helping yourself…or at least pretending to…here. Then, when you get out, me and you will come up with a way to help her."

"But you don't even know her."

"It doesn't matter. Everybody deserves a chance to make their dreams come true. Now, come on, let's go to the room."

When they were in the room, Marley was quick to get into the shower and quick to get out. As soon as Marley went to lay down, Quinn saw what Marley had been trying so hard to hide. Ribs were showing all over Marley's body. She was literally skin and bones. Marley then saw how shocked Quinn was.

"What?" Marley asked. "Am I that fat?"

"No, quite the opposite actually. Please eat. Please." Quinn said nearly in tears.

"Why? So I can get even fatter?"

"No, so you don't die from this. You're going to end up in the hospital with feeding tubes or worse if you don't watch it. I know we just met the other day, but I think you could accomplish so many great things in life if you really wanted to. Please eat."

Marley was nearly in tears. "I just, I feel so fat. Every day. And I hate every inch of myself."

"I understand," Quinn replied, "I want to show you something."

Quinn lifted up her shirt to show Marley all of the scars she had from cutting on her stomach. "It's not just on my arms. They're everywhere."

"Oh, Quinn, you have to stop."

"I'll try to if you try to eat."

"Okay, I'll eat, but you have to promise to stop cutting."

"Okay."

That night, Quinn had trouble sleeping. She kept having nightmares of her uncle molesting her, of her dad kicking her out of the house, her giving her baby up for adoption…everything….She was shaking and tossing and turning.

_Make him stop. No. It's my fault. Why? WHY? FUCKING WHY?_

Marley noticed this and went over to Quinn and moved her hair out of her eyes.

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay, I'm here. It's just a flashback or a nightmare. You're alright," Marley whispered gently.

"What..?" Quinn asked, still not fully awake.

"Shh, you were just having a nightmare."

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Quinn sobbed.

"It's okay," Marley said, giving Quinn a hug and rocking her back and forth in her arms, "It's okay, that bastard deserves the worst."

"I hate him," Quinn said angrily, "I HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH!"

"Don't worry, he can't hurt you anymore. You have me, you have your girlfriend, and you have your mom, plus that Glee club you told me about. They sounded like they really care about you too."

"Yea, they do," Quinn sighed, "I'm so sorry."

"There is NOTHING to apologize for."

They sat there wrapped in each other's arms for a few more minutes, Marley rubbing Quinn's back.

"You can go to bed now. I'll be okay," Quinn told Marley after a while.

"Are you sure?"

"Yea."

At that, Marley went to sleep. However, Quinn stayed wide awake for the majority of the night. So, when the annoying nurse came around yelling, "VITALS!" at everyone, she had a hard time getting up.

"Come on," Marley told Quinn, "Time to get up!"


	2. Mending wounds

"Huh?" Quinn said, wiping the sleepy out of her eyes.

"It's time for yall's vitals," the nurse said.

"Oh," Quinn replied.

She noticed that Marley was about to walk out of the room.

"Wait Marley," she said and went up to her.

The two girls linked arms and walked down the hallway together. As usual, everything was fine with Quinn. Physically anyway. Mentally, she still hated herself and just wanted to go back to sleep.

She sighed quietly. She wanted out of this place. This hellhole.

_Find a way out you idiot._

Marley noticed her friend had become quiet.

"What's wrong?" she asked Quinn.

"I just…I want out of this stupid place. I hate it here. It's so stupid."

"Me too honey. Just…sometimes you have to fake it in these places. We'll get through this."

"Together?" Quinn asked.

"Together." Marley responded and they held hands.

Rachel visited almost every other day and this made Quinn happy instantaneously.

Marley and Quinn were there for another week or so. However, eventually, they managed to fake their way out. On their last day, they hugged and gave each other their phone numbers to keep in touch. Tears were falling down Quinn's face.

"Hey, it'll be okay, Quinn. We're going to keep in touch and hang out as much as possible."

"Okay," Quinn sniffled in response.

At that, they hugged even tighter.

"Hey, I only live about fifteen miles outside of Lima. We can hang out as much as you want because my mom and I are there almost every day."

"Okay," Quinn responded.

They let go of each other's embrace as they parted ways. That was when Quinn noticed a few faces she had missed dearly. Her mom, Rachel, Santana and Brittany were all waiting for her.

"OH MY GOD!" she exclaimed as she ran up to them and gave them each a hug, "I have missed you guys so much!"

"How are you feeling?" Santana asked.

"I'm okay. I just can't wait to go home with all of you guys! I love you all so much."

Quinn and her mother finished checking out and went back to Lima with all of her best friends and her girlfriend. They sang along to all the different songs that came on the radio. And for a moment, it was like nothing had ever happened. Quinn stayed at her house the next few nights and was finally back in school where she was greeted like a long lost sister.

"I'm glad you're okay." Mercedes told Quinn and they hugged.

That weekend, Quinn practically begged her mom to go to Rachel's.

"I don't know Quinn…you just got back."

"Please. I need to spend more time with her."

"Fine you can go. You best know I love you baby girl!"

"I love you too!"

So she packed everything up and went to her girlfriend's house and drove there. When she got there, she embraced her girlfriend and gave her a full kiss on the mouth.

"Quinn…you are so beautiful."

"Rachel…I love you. And I want to show you that right now. And we're going to take care of those NYADA fees. Marley and I."

"Oh...how is she?" Rachel asked between lengthy kisses.

"She's good. Wants to know if we can meet her at the Lima Bean tomorrow."

"Sure. That sounds awesome. Now let's get back to what we were doing."

Then they ran up to the room.

"I love you so much, Quinn," Rachel said, breathing heavily.

"I love you too, baby."

Before Quinn could do anything, Rachel was unbuttoning Quinn's blouse and taking off Quinn's skirt and undergarments. They were lost in the moment. Quinn then proceeded to return the favor.

They kept kissing and then Rachel proceeded to kiss down Quinn's neck leaving really huge red marks. Some people would call those hickeys. Rachel liked to call them her love bites. She proceeded to kiss down Quinn's chest and sucked her nipples.

Quinn moaned, "Oh, Rachel! LOWER LOWER!"

So Rachel did as she was told. And licked the inside of Quinn's bellybutton and then put her face lower, kissing the inside of Quinn's thighs, causing her beautiful girlfriend to squirm. Rachel liked that. She then spread her girlfriend's pussy lips and stuck two fingers inside of her. In. Out. In. Out. She did this repeatedly. She then proceeded to put her tongue between her girlfriend's delicious lips, licking her clit and putting her tongue inside of Quinn.

"Oh, Rachel!" Quinn screamed, grabbing her girlfriend's head and pushing it.

"You taste good," Rachel told Quinn.

Quinn kept moaning as Rachel tasted the deliciousness of her girlfriend.

"I love you so much baby!" Quinn told Rachel, still moaning.

"I love you too!" Rachel exclaimed.

It wasn't long until Quinn reached her orgasm and they lay in each other's arms.

"Isn't it your turn?" Quinn asked Rachel.

"No, I have to please you right now. Later, it'll be your turn to please me," Rachel said happily. Then she asked, "So are we still going to meet Marley at the Lima Bean tomorrow."

"I think so," Quinn replied, grabbing her phone, looking at her most recent text messages, "Yep, she says to meet her there at one."

"That works out perfectly," Rachel responded, raising her eyebrows.

"What? What are we going to do before then?" Quinn asked.

"You'll see," Rachel responded, smirking.

She knew Rachel had something planned for the morning. Something Rachel Berry, it could be anything. However, that was the great thing about Rachel. She was full of surprises. Quinn didn't even care what it was. All that mattered was that she was truly happy for the first time in a long time.

"I love you, Rachel."

"I love you too, Quinnypoo."

They remained quiet for the rest of the night, lying in each other's arms, smiling blissfully. It was just the two of them and in that moment, nothing else mattered.


	3. Blissful Oblivion

The next morning, Quinn woke up an hour or so before Rachel did, so she decided since the brunette was asleep, she would go to the bathroom and cut her beautiful skin. She did that until she felt satisfied with the blood gushing out of her wrist. Then, she bandaged her wounds and laid back down with her girlfriend.

A few minutes later, Rachel woke up and smiled at Quinn.

"What?" Quinn asked.

"Nothing, I'm just really happy you're my girlfriend," Rachel replied ecstatically.

"I'm really happy you're my girlfriend as well."

"So…about that surprise…" Rachel smiled and raised her eyebrows.

"What…what is it?"

"You'll see," Rachel responded and went to her closet. From there, she brought out a beautiful blue box.

"What's in it?" Quinn asked excitedly, her heart raising.

"Open it."

Quinn did as she was told and gasped. It was a sterling silver ring.

"Rachel…"

"It's a token of my love for you Quinnypoo. I love you so much and want more than anything for you to be okay."

"I love you too," Quinn said silently, tears falling down her cheek.

"What's wrong?" Rachel asked.

"Nothing, I'm just really, really happy with you, Rachel."

Then, Quinn walked to her girlfriend and hugged her tightly. "I love you so much, Rachel, and I'm so sorry if you've ever thought otherwise."

"I love you too baby. So, what time are we going to meet Marley?"

"Oh, around 11:00. "

"Okay, crap, it's 10 now! Let's get dressed!"

"Okay, I'll just get dressed in the bathroom."

"Why?" Rachel asked, "I've seen you naked plenty of times."

Realization then set in Rachel's eyes.

"Quinn did you cut yourself again.?"

"Maybe," Quinn muttered.

"Quinn. Let me see."

Then Quinn took her shirt off and showed Rachel her wrist.

"Take the bandage off."

"But…"

"No…take it off and let me see please."

Quinn did as she was instructed and Rachel gasped. "Here, I'm going to get some Neosporin to clean that out and we're going to bandage it again. And look, I promise you, we are going to get through this."

Quinn smiled weakly and said, "Thanks, Rachel."

Rachel did as she said she would and put the ointment on Quinn's wounds and bandaged it up.

"Okay, now let's get dressed. And we'll talk more about this after we go eat with Marley. Okay?"

"Okay," Quinn responded, glad she wouldn't have to talk about it right then.

They got dressed and headed to The Lima Bean.


	4. Party time

When Quinn and Rachel walked into the Lima Bean, they saw Marley sitting at a table with a green t-shirt and blue jeans on.

"Cute outfit, girlie," Quinn told Marley.

"Thanks. So how have you been?"

"I've been good."

"Okay, I'll leave the two of you alone while I go order Quinn and I are normal drinks. Want anything Marley?"

"Um…no thanks,"

"You sure?" Quinn asked.

"Yea, I'm good. So Quinn, how have you been?"

"Well, I've been better, but I've also been worse. I cut again. How are you doing with eating?"

"I'm doing better than I was, but I'm still having trouble eating sometimes. Especially things with a lot of carbs," Marley confessed, eyes toward the ground.

"Hey, we're going to get through this."

"Alright, here we have two coffees, both with an extra shot of espresso," Rachel grinned.

"Thank you honey," Quinn told her and kissed her on the cheek.  
"So Marley, tell me about yourself."

"Well I'm 15 and I love to sing. And like Quinn, I have issues with my self-esteem but I'm trying to get better."

"Well, that's good," Rachel told her.

"Yea, I guess. I just feel so damn fat you know," Marley said, tears streaming down her face.

"Well, I can tell you one thing. You, ma'am are most definitely not fat. You are beautiful," Rachel told her. Quinn and Rachel both embraced her.

"We're going to get through this together," Quinn told Marley, "And Rachel's going to help us too. Remember our pinky promise to each other. It's all going to be okay."

"Okay, so I have a proposition. How about tonight we have a sleepover at my house and my two gay dads are gone so we can even get some drinks." Rachel told the two of them.

"I know my mom will be okay with it," Quinn replied.

"Um…let me call my mom and ask her."  
After Marley hang up, she told Quinn and Marley, "My mom said yes!"

"PARTY!" they all screamed.

It was going to be an unforgettable evening.


	5. Soulmates

Quinn, Marley and Rachel all woke up with hangovers the next day, so they slept until around really late the next day, thanking God it was a Sunday. Quinn was the first to wake up and went straight to the bathroom where she immediately cut herself. It was such a relief for her. After that, she laid back down between Marley and Rachel. She felt protected and loved, as if nothing could ever harm her again.

They all woke up a few hours later, and silently went downstairs to eat until Rachel broke the silence, saying, "Do either one of you remember anything that happened last night?"

Both Marley and Quinn shook their heads.

"The only thing I remember is going to that club. I'm not even sure how we got back home." Marley said.

"Same here," Quinn said.

"Well, everybody drink lots of water and I have some Excedrin for our headaches."

Quinn and Marley immediately drank some water and took some Excedrin.

"Do either one of you want something to eat?"

"No, thank you, I'm not very hungry," replied Marley.

"You need to eat," Rachel said, looking at their new friend with concern in her eyes.

"Fine, I'll have an apple."

Rachel then handed her an apple, which Marley ate, while Quinn and Rachel had some maple and brown sugar oatmeal.

Later that day, they dropped Marley off and gave her a hug.

"Quinn, are you okay? You've been really quiet all day."

"No, I'm not. I just…I hurt so much on the inside and I don't know how to make it go away unless…."  
"No, Quinn, no you can't."

Quinn smiled at her usually optimistic girlfriend and started crying. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."  
"Shh… baby, it's okay, we're going to get through this, I promise."

They stay entangled in each other's arms for a while and drove back to Rachel's house, where they continued to hug. Nothing was going to keep the two lovers from each other. Ever.


	6. Life is full of surprises

The couple lay in bed all day until at around 1 a.m. when all of a sudden Quinn heard her phone ringing. It was her mom. Quinn had never told anyone this, but her mom had been in an on and off again relationship with an abusive man named Todd for about a year now. They were back together. Sometimes, Quinn would have to fight the man. No one knew about him though. They could never find out.

"Hey mom."

"Hi baby. How are you?"

"I'm okay…still at Rachel's. Why mom? What's going on? Are you okay?"

Silence. Glass breaking. Screams.

Quinn then quickly put on a jacket over her pajamas to try and sneak out of the room.

"Quinn, where are you going?" Rachel asked, sitting up, rubbing the sleepy out of her eyes.

"I,um, need to go take care of something."  
"At 1 in the morning? Why can't it wait?"  
"It just…it can't. It's really important."

"Quinn, you're not going anywhere alone."  
"Please, Rachel.."  
"QUINN…NO! I AM GOING WITH YOU AND THAT'S THAT."

"Okay…" Quinn sighed, "But hurry, we need to leave like now."

"What's going on? Tell me. Everything."

"Well…my mom's got this on again off again boyfriend and I guess they're on again. His name is Todd and he's pretty awful. He beats her and I want her to get help and stay away but she just keeps going back."

"Oh…I'm sorry."

The two girls jumped into Rachel's car and sped to Quinn's house. They could hear screaming and ran inside. The screams were coming from upstairs.

"Rachel stay down here." Quinn told Rachel, grabbing a huge knife from the kitchen, in case things got ugly.  
"What no way…I am not letting you go up there by yourself!"

"Fine,"

The two girls then went upstairs and saw Todd beating the hell out of Quinn's mom with a baseball bat. Todd didn't see the two girls as he was beating Mrs. Fabray to

"Call 911, Rachel. Now!" Quinn whispered to her girlfriend.

Rachel did as she was told and ran to the closest bathroom there was to call 911. Then Quinn jumped on Todd to try to get him to stop beating her mom. Todd then threw here on the ground. Quinn heard a cracking noise come from her arm, so she'd figured she had broken it. However, she got up and stabbed the man in the side right as he was about to hit her mom with the baseball bat again. Right after she did that he picked her up, punched her in the face and threw her across the room and Quinn's knife fell out of her hand. Todd was about to stab Quinn when Rachel walked in.

"Leave my girlfriend alone," she screamed, as she grabbed the bat he had left on the floor and hit him on the head with it.

This caused Todd to drop the knife on the ground. But he still grabbed Rachel by the wrists and said, "You shouldn't have done that silly girl," he said in a raspy voice. He then grabbed Rachel, punched her in the face and threw her across the room.

All of a sudden, Quinn, barely conscious, picked it up, stood up, and stabbed him in the back. Rachel grabbed Quinn and they both moved out of the way so the large man didn't fall on either one of them.

"Did you call 911?" Quinn asked, barely breathing.

"Yes, sweetie, they're on their way," Rachel responded quietly, "Sit down, okay sweetie. They'll be here any minute down."

"Thank you," Quinn said, sitting down, "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you this before…"

"Shhh…Quinn take it easy, just breathe, it's okay, it's all okay."  
All of a sudden, they heard sirens in the distance. Pretty soon, the paramedics and police officers arrived. First, they put Mrs. Fabray on a stretcher. Quinn was next.

"Can I please go with her?" Rachel asked sobbing.  
"No," the paramedic responded. You need to go on your own stretcher. You could be severely injured as well. Once you're out of the hospital though, you can go see her, I promise."

"What if she doesn't make it? I want to see her."  
"We will do the best that we can."

Rachel then climbed up on the stretcher they had brought up for her, quietly sobbing. When they put her in an ambulance, a female paramedic quietly stroked her hair.

"Shhhh, it's all gonna be okay. I promise." the paramedic told her soothingly.

Rachel, knowing the lady was only doing her job trying to comfort her, let some more tears out.

"I just..I want her to be okay."  
"I know, I know, it's gonna be okay. Shh."

Rachel fell asleep and awoke the next day in the hospital. There was a nurse checking her vitals.

"Can I see Quinn now?" she asked the nurse.

"You have to check out of the hospital first and no way you are doing that right now because we still have a lot of tests we have to run."

"Is she going to be okay?"  
"She'll be fine. And so will you. We just need to make sure you both fully recover."  
"What about her mom? How is Mrs. Fabray?"

"We are doing the best that we can. I can't tell you much else," the nurse replied, "However you do have some visitors. Would you like to see them?"  
"Who is it?"

"Some people from your school. They're worried about you Rachel."

"Okay…send them in."

"Only two at a time can come in."

Then, to Rachel's surprise, Santana and Brittany walked in.

"


	7. Broken

"What are you two doing here?" Rachel asked in shock.

"We heard you, Quinn and her mom were in the hospital and we were worried…What happened?" Santana asked, fighting back tears.

"Well…Quinn's mom has a douche bag of a boyfriend…if you can call him that." Rachel said sadly.

"I knew something's been up with Quinn. Not just the cutting." Brittany said sadly.

"Woah, how'd you know about that?" Rachel asked.

"I know I'm not smart, but I can read people. I can tell when something's off and something's been off with her for a while. This is all my fault. I should have been there for her more." Brittany said, tears streaming down her face.

"No it isn't Britt," said Santana, hugging her girlfriend, "Quinn's going to be okay, I promise. And the bastard who did this is going to pay."

Brittany nodded, wiped her tears away, then asked, "Are you okay Rach..?"

"I guess. They won't let me see Quinn until I'm dismissed from the hospital…and they said…they said her mom might not make it," Rachel replied, letting the tears stream down her face.

At this, Brittany and Santana walked over to her and gave her a hug. There was silence in the room while the three held each other.

"You know this isn't your fault, right?" Santana said.

"I mean I guess I know but I just want Quinn to be okay…"

"I know, I know honey, but you're going to be okay. I promise. And so will Quinn, I promise." Santana said and then quickly added, "and so will her mom. I promise."

At this, Rachel grabbed Santana and cried into her neck, saying "It's all my fault. I shouldn't have let her go over there. I should have noticed something…."

"No…" Brittany said, "Don't do that to yourself. It's going to be okay. I know life isn't full of rainbows and butterflies, but I do know that it's all going to be okay. Everything will work out," Brittany said matter-of-factly.

Rachel and Santana both smiled at the tall girl. She may not have been book smart, but she sure was good with people and could usually tell how something would turn out. After crying for a few more minutes, Rachel finally let go of Santana, while still holding onto both her and Brittany's hands.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry," Rachel said, "I shouldn't have cried."

"No, no, it's okay, Rachel," Santana said, "Showing emotion only means you're human. And me and Britt…we're here for you no matter what.

Rachel smiled at the two girls. They were never really friends during her sophomore and junior years, but she knew this year was different. Maybe it was the fact that she was dating Quinn. Or maybe they'd all just really grown over the past few years. Whatever it was, Rachel was happy about it.

A nurse knocked on the door, came in and said, "Okay, visitor time is up. Plus we need to run some tests, and check vitals, make sure everything is going smoothly."

"Okay," Brittany and Santana said in unison.

Then Santana added, "Look, we're here for you if you need us, okay?"

"Okay." Rachel said, smiling weakly at them.

After all of , the nurse smiled and said, "Your dads are here. I know they want to see you. And then there's a girl named Marley too. She can come in after. If you're up for it."

"Of course," Rachel replied.

The nurse went to the waiting room and then Hiram and Leroy Berry walked in.

"Hey sweetie," Hiram said, "How are you feeling?"

"Dad, daddy, I'm okay," Rachel replied.

"Baby, we know you aren't," Hiram said.

"Yea and we're here for you every step of the way."

"Thanks. I just want Quinn to be okay, but she's not. She's broken and I want to fix her, but I don't know if I can," Rachel said, tearing up for what felt like the millionth time today.

"I know you do, baby. And you can be there for her. But you have to understand that everything's not going to go away just like that," Leroy said.

"I know, I know," Rachel replied to her dad, "I just wish it would."

"I know you do baby. And just know we're here for you no matter what," Leroy said to his daughter."

"Thanks dad, daddy…I love you both so much." Rachel replied, hugging her dads.

"We love you too." Hiram said.

After a few minutes, a nurse came in and said, "Can Marley come in now? She's begging to come in."

"Yes, of course," Rachel replied to the nurse.

At this, Hiram and Leroy walked out while Marley walked in.

"Hey," Marley said, "How you holding up?"

"I wish people would quit asking me that! I'm fucking fantastic, really!" Rachel spat venomously.

"Sorry… I didn't mean to upset you." Marley replied, now shaking.

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry, I'm just really upset."

"I know honey," Marley replied, "And I'm not going to feed you that everything's going to be okay crap because we honestly don't know if that's true or not. However, I do know that you and Quinn are both very strong girls, and no matter what happens to any of you, I know that you will both get through it."

"Thanks," Rachel said, "I'm just really tired of all of this. I want it to be over with."

"I know, I know you do, but these things don't work like that. And I know you know that. However, you've got to be here for Quinn…I mean obviously, you've got to get better first and I know you're angry. But you're going to have to put that aside for her. And just be there for her. I know it hurts to see her hurting. And I know how much you two love each other…I just want you to know that I'm here for both of you. And I'm not just saying that."

"Thanks," Rachel replied, "How are you doing by the way?"

"I'm okay," replied Marley, avoiding eye contact.

"Don't lie to me…It's obvious you're still not eating," Rachel replied staring at the tall, frail girl.

"Yea…well in light of recent events, are you surprised?"

"No, but I wish you'd try."

"I am. I really am, it's just really hard," Marley replied, tears welling up.

At this, Rachel grabbed Marley's hand and said, "I know, I know. But you have to realize that there are people that really do care about you. Quinn and I included."

Marley smiled at the girl. She really was a caring girl.

All of a sudden, the two of them saw nurses rushing to a room. And it wasn't just any room. It was Quinn's mother's room.

A few minutes later, a doctor came in and said, "I need to talk to Rachel…alone."

At this, Marley got up and left, leaving both girls very confused as to what was going on.

"Is everything okay?" Rachel asked.

"No, no it isn't. Mrs. Fabray's heart just stopped. We were unable to resuscitate her. I'm sorry to inform you but Mrs. Fabray has just died."

"Oh…oh my God," Rachel said, "I have to see Quinn. I have to tell her…I can't leave her. I need to see her."

"Woah, calm down, you aren't going anywhere. Not for a few more hours at least. After everything that's happened, we're going to need the detectives to interview you. And stabilize you. Then, you can be checked out of the hospital and see her."

"How is she?" Rachel asked.

"Quinn? She's alright. But we have decided not to inform her of her mother until she is better. She has many lacerations and a severe head injury. We were able to sustain her, but we need to make sure she heals properly before letting her know what's happened."

"WHAT?" Rachel practically screamed, "You haven't told her yet! What kind of shitty place is this anyway?"

The doctor stared at the girl sadly and said, "I'm sorry, but we only do what we feel is best for the patients. "

"When can I see her?" Rachel asked.

"Well, I've talked to your dads and they said they would check you out right after the detectives question you. Then you can go see your girlfriend.

Rachel half-smiled at this. At least her dads understood what Quinn meant to her.

After the doctor left, the police came in and asked her everything they needed to. She hated reliving everything that happened, but she knew she had to tell them everything in order for them to best help Quinn.

As soon as they were done questioning her, a doctor, nurse and her dads came in.

The nurse looked at Rachel and said, "Hi, I'm Alice. I'm going to pull out your I.V. and take off heart monitors. After I'm done doing that, you are free to go."

Rachel smiled weakly at this. She knew she'd be free of these four white walls. However, she didn't know what to expect when she went in to see Quinn.

As soon as Rachel was discharged, she immediately asked if she could go see Quinn.

"Are you sure you want to sweetie? " Hiram asked her daughter.

"Yea…she is in a lot of pain and it might not be good for you right now." Leroy added.

"I don't give a crap. I want to see my girlfriend!" Rachel practically yelled.

"Okay, okay" Hiram said, trying to calm her daughter down. "You can see her. However, one of use is going with you."

"Fine," she replied.

A few minutes later, Leroy and her daughter walked down to Quinn Fabray's hospital room with a nurse escorting them there.

"Now, be very careful as to what you say to her. We don't want her going into shock or anything like that," the nurse said, and then seeing the look on Rachel's face, added, "She's only recently been stabilized. We don't want to freak her out right now."

"Oh, you mean you don't want to have to go through the trouble of calming her down." Rachel spat venomously.

"Calm down," the nurse said, "We're going to tell her soon. But she needs to stay stabilized for a little bit longer."

Once the nurse told her this, Rachel nodded, still not understanding why the hospital was not telling her girlfriend, and walked into Quinn's room.


	8. Cry

The view in Quinn's room was very shocking to Rachel. Sure, she'd been in hospital rooms before when her dad have to have his appendix taken out, but she'd never seen anything like this. Quinn was hooked up to so many machines, almost lifeless. Even though Quinn was breathing, her body looked so broken. Rachel walked over to her and held her hand, whispering soothing words into her ear, telling her how it was all going to be okay and how much she loved her. Quinn nodded, and told her that she would be okay, tears freely flowing down both girls' cheeks.

After a few minutes, a nurse came in and said, "Alright, out of here. We need to talk to Quinn and check her vitals."

Rachel sighed, knowing Quinn was going to find out about her mother, and walked out of the room, but not before whispering, "I love you and it's all going to be okay."

In Quinn's room, a doctor and nurse told her about her mother.

Quinn looked at the medical professionals, and yelled, "You lying bitch. You all did this to her."

Then, upon noticing her girlfriend wasn't in the room anymore, said, "Where is Rachel? I want Rachel!"

The blonde girl then started sobbing, while the nurse checked vitals and left the room and the doctor went into the hallway to tell Rachel to come in the room.

"So…they told you?" Rachel asked soothingly, walking toward Quinn.

The blonde nodded and said, "They're lying right Rae? They 're lying because they hate me. She's not dead, is she? She's not dead!"

At this, Rachel let tears fall down her cheeks and held her girlfriend's hand and said, "I'm so sorry baby."

"Don't. Don't! It's not fair," Quinn cried.

"I know baby, I know. But it's going to be okay. I know it hurts, but you're going to be okay?"

"How can you say that?!" Quinn asked, "My mom is dead!"

Quinn sobbed and let the tears fall down her cheeks as Rachel held her, whispering soothing words into her ear, letting her know that this storm would pass and they would get through it together.


	9. Grieving

Mrs. Fabray's funeral would be in the next week and Quinn didn't want to go. She didn't even want to move. She'd been out of the hospital for a few days now, but she didn't see the point in moving from her girlfriend's bed. When the day of her funeral finally arrived, she still hadn't moved from the spot on her girlfriend's bed other than to use the bathroom. Rachel was getting more and more concerned and on the day of the funeral, she asked her, "Are you going to go with us baby?"

"Ugh…Do I have to go?" Quinn asked Rachel.

"No, but I think it would be good for you to," the tiny diva replied.

"Why?"

"Because it will help with your grieving."

"No…it won't. I'm not going. Okay? Tell everyone I'm sorry but I couldn't save her life so I'm not going to this stupid funeral."

"Quinn…are you sure?"

"Yes, can I please just go back to sleep?" Quinn asked Rachel, trying not to cry.

"Okay, baby. Just Know I love you and am here for you no matter what."

"Okay…" Quinn replied, not moving.

Once she knew Rachel was gone, she got up and went to the bathroom. She found an old razor in the trash can and grabbed it. She didn't want to, but she felt like she deserved it, so she cut her wrist. Then, she walked back to her girlfriend's room, lay down and cried and cried and cried and cried until she eventually fell asleep. The rest of the week went like that. She wouldn't go to school. She wouldn't go anywhere. She just lay in bed and only got up to go to the bathroom or cut herself. Rachel understood it would take time for her to get over this, but she was growing more and more concerned for her girlfriend. Her, Marley, Santana, and Brittany were all becoming more and more worried about Quinn.

So, that Saturday, Rachel walked up to her room and said, "Quinn, take a shower and get dressed. Now."

"But…"

"No buts…you're coming with Santana, Brittany, Marley, and I."

"Fine…" Quinn replied and did as she was instructed. She then used makeup to cover up any cuts that might be left on her arms. Then, she walked downstairs.

"Where are we going?" Quinn asked.

"You'll see when we get there," Rachel replied.

So Quinn, Rachel, Brittany, Santana, and Marley all got into Santana's car. When they reached their destination, Quinn gasped. They were at her mother's burial spot.

"You guys can't make me do anything."

"Maybe not, but we sure as hell are going to try." Santana replied.

They all got out of the car and followed Quinn to her mother's cemetery spot.

"I don't understand…what do you guys want me to do?"

"We want you to talk to her. Grieve. We're tired of seeing you fall apart. We love you too much for that." Brittany replied.

Quinn sighed and sat down in front of her mother's gravestone. Then, she started to cry and asked, "Mommy, why did you do this to me? Why aren't you here anymore? You're gone and I can't do anything about it. I miss you. And I love you. But I'm really pissed at you. Because the one person I need to hold me right now isn't even here anymore," Quinn told her mother's gravestone, sobbing. It started to rain, but nobody moved. Nobody was moving until Quinn had finished talking to her mom.

"Mommy…I don't understand…why didn't you just leave him? This is all his fault! Why can't you be here anymore mommy? I just want you, mommy. I just want you…."

Quinn then broke down and put her hands in her face as the tears continued to fall from her eyes. Rachel, Brittany, Santana and Marley all huddled around her and comforted her. Then, they walked to the car, where Quinn continued to cry into Rachel's shoulder. Rachel had noticed the new cuts on her girlfriend's arm, but that wasn't important right now. Her girlfriend was finally grieving. And they all knew it would be a while before Quinn was okay, but at least she was making progress.


	10. Surprise

For a while, Quinn was making progress. She missed her mom and still cut occasionally, but for the most part, she was progressing. That was, until one Saturday she heard a knock on the door at the Berry residence. Rachel was busy cooking supper, so she went to answer the door. When she answered it, she saw someone she never wanted to see again. Someone who had hurt her more than anyone else ever had. There at the door was none other than Russell Fabray.

"Russell…what are you doing here?"

"Hello, Quinn. I'm here to visit my daughter."

Quinn gulped and said, "I'm not your daughter and you're not my father. You made that very clear when you kicked me out of the house. And then you went and cheated on mom. A bit hypocritical, isn't ?"

"Quinn…listen, I'm here to make amends…I don't expect you to accept me right away, but at least let me talk to you…."

"There's nothing to talk about. I had a creepy uncle who molested me as a child and you just sat back and let it happen. Also, mom's dead. Congratulations Oh, and I cut myself. You're so full of yourself. How could you not see I was falling apart right in front of your eyes?" she asked, then cocked an eyebrow and added, "Also, mom was pretty much beat to death by her ex-boyfriend. But I guess you didn't care about that, considering you cheated on her."

"Quinn, I'm sorry I hurt you. And I honestly had no clue about your uncle until after it happened for the last time. Why do you think he never spent the night again?'

"Well…whatever, look, I don't care. What do you want?"

"To have a conversation with my daughter, look it doesn't have to be much. But I'll take you out to Breadstix tomorrow night. How does that sound?"

"Look…whatever, I'll go but my girlfriend is coming with me?"

Russell nodded. Then Quinn asked, "How did you know I was here?"

"Well, I knew Rachel Berry was your girlfriend because that's like all everybody in Lima talks about is who's dating who because this is a stupid small town that doesn't have any better gossip. So…yea, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay, Russell."

Then she shut the door in his face, and ran to the kitchen and punched a counter repeatedly, letting her angry tears take over.

Rachel sighed, walked over to her girlfriend grabbed her and said, "Quinn…honey, stop. Baby, please."

"It was…my d-…Russell, it was Russell."

Rachel let out a heavy breath, walked Quinn to the couch where she could calm down and said, "I know it's hard, baby. What did he want?"

Quinn said, "He wants…to have dinner tomorrow night. You, me, and him at Breadstix."

"Oh…" Rachel replied, "Why?"

"He wants to talk to me. Two years after he kicked me out and he wants to talk to me now? Really?! Ugh!"

"Quinn, breathe baby," Rachel said and rubbed her lover's back, "It's going to be okay. Here, the vegan pizza is almost ready, so why don't we watch a movie and eat it in here. Okay? I'll even break into my dad's liquor cabinet so we can have a little more fun tonight."

Quinn nodded and said, "Sounds good." They were about to have a night they would never forget.


	11. Chapter 11

That night Rachel broke into her dads' liquor cabinet and got out a gallon of vodka. She mixed the vodka with some dr. pepper and split it with Quinn. Rachel's dads were out of town so they had the house to themselves, so they invited Brittany and Santana over. Rachel gave them each some vodka.

About an hour into drinking, Quinn was so out of it, she couldn't even walk straight. She walked up to Santana and said, "This my girlfriend's house. Ahahaahhaa!"

"I know, honey," Santana told her and asked, "Are you okay?"

"I'm f_iiiine_" Quinn responded with a slur.

"Really Q?" Brittany asked.

"Yes, Brittssss. Ahahhhahaa your name is funny!" Quinn exclaimed.

"Okay, that's it! Hey Berry. Your girlfriend is drunk as fuck, come help us."

"I….am….NOT DRUNK!" Quinn exclaimed and when she saw Rachel come over to her added, "RACHELLLLLLLL, CAN I HAVE MORE DRINK?! Also, we should SINGGGG!"

"Okay, Quinniepoo, let's go sing honey." Rachel told her.

They plugged the karaoke machine and started singing whatever song came on. Santana and Brittany eventually joined in. Then they all fixed themselves more drink.

"Hey RACHLELLLLLLL! I am not DRUNK. I am TIPSY. HEHEHEHEHEH" Quinn said.

"Okay, honey. Why don't you go sit down on the couch and I'll be there in a second okay?"

"Okay RACHELLLL!" Quinn exclaimed.

"Okay, what is it Rachel?" Santana asked, "Why is she acting so weird?"

"Her dad wants us to have supper with him tomorrow night. She said she'd go, but if he does anything to hurt her again, I will fucking castrate him."

"Fuck that motherfucker!" Brittany exclaimed.

The other two girls looked at her in shock, so she explained herself by saying, "He has NO right to be in her life."

"I know, Britt, but she wants this, so I wanted you two to know that way I anything happens tomorrow night, I can text you both and let you know," Rachel said.

"Okay," Santana replied, "That works. And you know what? We should hang out like this more often. Drunk Quinn is funny Quinn."

"I know," Rachel replied and then added, "But she's just trying to cover up how she really feels, so do NOT say anything to her."

"Okay," Brittany and Santana responded simultaneously.

The rest of the night was a combination of drinking, dancing and singing until eventually all four of them passed out on the couch. They didn't know what the future held, but they knew they had to be there for each other no matter what.


	12. Angel

**Author's Note: Prayers go out to all of those affected in Boston. Trigger warnings for this chapter. Song is Angel By Your Side by Francesca Battistelli and I do not own it.**

They all woke up the next morning and ate breakfast. Then, Brittany and Santana left for some family bonding time. This left Rachel alone with a very anxious Quinn. It was 11 a.m. and Quinn was already picking out an outfit.

Rachel went up to her room to check on her and said, "Sweetie, it will be fine."

Quinn started laughing and Rachel asked, "What's so funny?"

"It's not going to be okay. He hates me, and he wants me to have dinner with him. What if he just wants to rub it in my face that I'm a huge disgrace? What am I going to do?" Quinn was having a panic attack at this point so Rachel walked up to her and started rubbing her back.

"Breathe, just breathe, honey. It's going to be fine. Inhale. Exhale. You're okay. I promise"

Quinn finally calmed down a little bit, but she didn't say anything else. They each showered and got dressed. Then, they watched movies for the rest of the afternoon.

At around 5:00, they decided to leave and meet Russell at Breadstix. When they arrived, he was already there, so they sat with him at the table. They each ordered a drink and food. When the food arrived, Quinn barely ate because she was so nervous.

After he took a few bites, he asked, "So, what are yall's plans for college?"

Quinn didn't respond so Rachel just said, "I'm applying to NYADA in New York and I think Quinn is applying to Yale and NYU."

"Very good, I'm sure you both will get in to the school of your choosing."

Quinn sighed and just kept picking at her food. She wanted to talk to Russell, but she was nervous and it didn't help that every time she looked at him, she saw the man that kicked he rout of the house at the age of sixteen. After what felt like forever, it was finally time to leave. She shook Russell's hand and said, "Sure," when he asked if she wanted to have dinner again some time. Then, her and Rachel left.

As soon as they got home, Quinn ran up to the bathroom and Rachel followed her. Quinn got a piece of broken glass from one of her hiding spots and cut her wrist until Rachel came up behind her and held her.

Then, Quinn started crying and she couldn't stop. She held onto Rachel's shirt even as Rachel led her to the bed. Rachel didn't mind, she just held her girlfriend.

Between sobs, Quinn managed to ask, "Rachel…will…you…sing…to…me?"

Rachel nodded and started to sing…

_I can't say that everything's okay  
'Cause I can see the tears you're crying  
And I can't promise to take the pain away  
But you can know I won't stop trying_

_[Chorus]__  
I'll be the angel by your side  
I will get you through the night  
I'll be the strength you can't provide on your own  
'Cause when you're down and out of time  
And you think you've lost the fight  
Let me be the angel  
The angel by your side_

I know it feels like you're running out of faith  
'Cause it's so hard to keep believing  
But if I can bring a smile back to your face  
If for a moment, you'll forget all about it

_[Chorus]__  
I'll be the angel by your side  
I will get you through the night  
I'll be the strength you can't provide on your own  
'Cause when you're down and out of time  
And you think you've lost the fight  
Let me be the angel  
The angel by your side_

'Cause this won't be the last time  
You'll need a little hope  
But I want to be the first to let you know

_[Chorus]__  
I'll be the angel by your side  
I will get you through the night  
I'll be the strength you can't provide on your own  
'Cause when you're down and out of time  
And you think you've lost the fight  
Let me be the angel  
The angel by your side_

After a while, Quinn's sobs quieted, but Rachel still held her. They fell asleep in each other's arms, hoping that the future would be better than the past.


End file.
